Feu Au Lac V​/​A

by Various Artists

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about

EN // You may already be aware of its presence but an exceptionally large asteroid is on a direct collision course with our beautiful if not slightly degraded planet. Estimated date of arrival is the 2nd of January and contact is predicted to take place slap bang in the middle of the Lac Léman, falsely named Lake Geneva by some.

Astronomers, astrologers, geologists and other related experts are trembling with apprehension and curiosity, as the exact composition of the beast is yet to be determined. “We can expect a wide range of organic and metallic components, but the real mystery remains the quantity of low frequencies and acidic composites that shall emerge from the biliary sequencing of the New Year” claims a worryingly enthusiastic Burd Bibendaze, research fellow at Salt Lake City University who specialises in astral body impactology in fresh water environments. “The hybrids created by the impact between local and extra-terrestrial matter will provide us with years of granular-central analysis” adds the ecstatic statistician.

The Federal Swiss government advises its population to take the following precautions extremely seriously:

• Avoid any windsurfing activities on the Lac Léman in the coming weeks
• Protective glasses and earplugs are strongly recommended as the foreign body approaches.
• It is of paramount importance to acquire the appropriate listening material for a collective study of this hybrid material.

We thank you for your attention.

FR // Vous le savez déjà probablement, un astéroïde d'une taille exceptionnelle menace de s'écraser d'ici quelques semaines sur notre belle planète. Nous laissant juste le temps de nous rincer la dalle une dernière fois, la chute est attendue pour début janvier... au beau milieu du Lac Léman!

Autant d'appréhension que d'impatience se profilent du côté des scientifiques, qui ne connaissent pas l'exacte composition du monstre. "On peut s'attendre à une grande diversité de composés métalliques comme organiques, mais le plus grand mystère reste la quantité de basses fréquences et de composés acides qui émergeront du séquençage biliaire de la nouvelle année. Tous les hybrides qui se formeront au moment de l'impact entre matière locale et éléments extra-terrestres promettent de longues heures d'analyse granulo-centrée!", s'exclame en trépignant Burd Bibendaze, chercheur en impactologie des corps célestes dans les milieux d'eau douce à l'Université de Salt Lake City. Prenez donc vos précautions à l'approche du 4 janvier:

• Toute activité véliplanchiste est fortement déconseillée sur le Léman.
• Des lunettes et bouchons de protection sont recommandés à l'approche du corps étranger.
• Votre matériel d'écoute est indispensable pour une étude collective de cette matière hybride.

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released January 2, 2020

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Brainwaves Geneva, Switzerland

Brainwaves is a Swiss multinational investment label and musical services company founded and based in Geneva.

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